I’ve always wanted to write a book about my life but always felt I was too busy to do and no would really care to read but I find myself in an alternative space in my mind. Kind of floating between reality and suicidal fantasy. So I think to myself maybe I need to get this out before my thoughts completely erase. I have given myself till the 15th of december to find a new place, and a couple of orgasms from masturbating and a pint of ice cream later I’m still loopy about this situation. My roommate happens to be the ex-girlfriend of famous actress michelle rodriguez. I thought it was bullshit until I googled it and yeah she definitely pressed charges against the actress for assault but later dropped them. She claims she has nudey pics of her. I want to look at them but I felt that would be a little perverted. But then again she offered to show them. I guess as proof or something *shrugs* I haven’t really enjoyed our roommate experience as her house is not to my standards of cleanliness and her now “baby daddy”, who looks like the prettiest Colombian gay man I’ve ever seen, has been whooping her ass. I think she needs to re-evaluate her life. Not to mention clean her house. Her 8 month baby was in the hospital for a week from a staph infection! YIKES! Those things are contagious and makes me more eager to leave. But the question is where? And being that is the holidays and I have yet to buy presents let alone pay my cell phone bill, I don’t know how I’m going to pull this off. I’m glad I’m spending almost 2 weeks in Georgia for Christmas so I can relax and finally see my family after years of avoidance…I would love to move to brooklyn and bathe in its cultural artistic aroma buuuutttt that’s a bit of a distance to travel. Then there is always Georgia with my aunt. Nuff said don’t get me wrong I love my aunt to death and my best friend in the world is down there but I am not a southern girl and never will be. Besides what would SNATCH do without me ^_^. I guess I’m just here left to my own devices. Probably draw & drink some tequila until the light of sun kisses the horizon whispering me to wake up because it is now morning, another day to piss my life away. Till then…

Merging Minds Fund-raiser/2yr Snatchiversary!!!

It’s funny how love

Love has always been a barrier for me to overcome.

When you were never loved

How do you know how to love someone else?

Either we love too much

Or we love not enough

Well I don’t know the answer to that

All I know is what it feels like

When you have it right in the palm of your hands

And whenh you lose it

Slipping through the cracks of your fingers

Happily ever after

Doesn’t exist on this path I walk on.

When we kissed

It fellt as if Sambia

Was breathing ashe’ into my soul

Now that she’s gone

I take shorter breaths

Kinda feels like being punched in the chest

You left me

I can’t breathe without you

You ripped my heart from this cage

And set my soul on fire

There are 3rd degree burns traced inside my bones

Get a closer look at what you did to me

Same shit

Different toilet

You pissed on my feelings

Slicing my pain away with a rough blade

The thought has crossed my mind

On more than one occasaion

Strip me naked

And my skin will bleed in the pattern of a chess board

Beautifully etched into my flesh

Now everyone can see the pain I bare

You’ve taken everything from me

I don’t sleep at night

Nightmares shake me awake in cold sweats

T-shirt soaked

Head pounding

Breathing all off beat

So I just sit against the wall

Rocking myself back and forth

Praying that I don’t drift off

It’s like

“1-2 freddie’s coming for you”

“3-4 better lock your doors”

“5-6 Five, six grab your crucifix”“7-8 gonna stay up late”

“9-10 never sleep again”

NEVER SLEEP AGAIN

I swear these bags under my eyes so heavy

They look like black eyes

Pounded into my face by the pain you have caused me

Dont label me bulimic

This food forces itself up whenever you cross my mind

I can’t keep anything down long enough to have an appetite

My stomach twist in knots

An echo of pain bounces around inside my ribcage 

I would say that I hate love

But love didn’t do this to me

You did

I walk these streets like a zombie

Possesed by some other unknown force

Spell binding and casting

Inhaled from the air

Maybe she hasn’t stopped working on me

Maybe this is just another one of her tricks to keep me bounded

If so it is working

And we are both losing

So I don’t say fuck love

I say fuck you

Because I have no other explanation for why I feel this way

She was once creole spoken backgrounds
Stitched into the lining of my DNA
A radio active ingredient shot into my bloodstream
That in one moment of lip to lip
Softly pressed was magnetic
an unforceful event that occurred every night we looked into the portals of our eyelids flip inward
We spoke 
Goodnight
Sweetdreams
Nestled in closer 
The lining of her body
From lock to breast 
From breast to knee
From knee to toe 
All engraved into my spine 
She dug into me
Close 
Closer than two bodies conjoined
Our souls were entwined
Breathing
Contracted one another’s 
Ashe 
We moved
We moved like little tiny waves on the shores of the river 
Oshun dancing inside our ribcage 
Twirling to the conga in our hearts
Between the most brightest space 
Right palm tapping on one lung
And other stroking the heart 
I sang to her like no woman has sang before 
Climbed inside her ear 
Laid across her drum
And whispered  
You are the one for me 
Sambia
Kissed life into your pulse on the 6th day 
My king 
My shango 
A replica of a king in the making 
your father is colored into your lifeline
I’ve seen you before 
Another lifetime ago
We met on the river bank 
We fell in love that day 
And maybe God took you away
So we could start over and meet again 
So I
I have been waiting a lifetime or more 
Always reincarnated into something more but never complete 
You were not there. 
I waited for you. 
Hoping I would see your soul 
In the palm on some strangers hand 
In the womb of another woman
In the backstroke of a heartbeat
And that day
This day
Today
You murmured into my existence
I ran for you 
I came to you 
And I almost had you 
At the tip of my fingers
There you stood
Running and dancing inside the lines of my fingerprints 
You slipped away 
So tiny and fragile 
I lost you 
So I sit cursed 
Waiting another lifetime for you to return so I sit and listen 
Seeing if I can find you 
hiding behind some child’s laughter
Or pulsing into the vibration of a rock being kicked 
Or therapeuticly grasped onto to some cutter’s blade 
I wait 
because she was the one. 

Come check out my friend’s model portfolio page. Just built it tonight!

Patricia “Uzuri” Miles (photo shoot at the great falls in paterson) to see more visit www.wix.com/AfroPixs/Artist-Page

There is a little piece of heaven nestled behind a furniture store on central ave, I call it the gateway to AFRICA.

Yesterday I experienced one of the most amazing things to ever touch my heart. I was able to talk to a group of students from GHANA, AFRICA, and interact with some incredible teens and children. Who, despite what may be going on around them have this passion and love for learning and living. So many bright smiles and faces peered through a flat screen TV broadcasted for us to see.

Excerpt about program:
The AKOMA NTOSO CULTURAL CENTER (ANCC) provides programs and services that encourage the appreciation of African cultures and history, emphasizing the ways African culture intersects, overlaps and complements all people and all nations the world over- and has throughout all history. By utilizing the “Tele-Presence” technology, we will bring people of all nations face to face, thus, eliminating the oceans of waters and misconceptions that separate us.

The Organization behind the program:
Oiada International Inc. (www.oiadaintl.org) is a non-profit organization, our goal is to improve the social, economic and environmental conditions of the people of Ghana, Africa through education, health care, cooperative economics and community development                                                   

The ANCC’s primary mission is to link the US and the residents of Ghana via ANCC’s telepresence communications center (powered by polycom). This will be the foundation for a nationwide network of students, residents, academicians and professionals concerned with connecting or reconnecting with the African people, bridging the gap between the US, Africa and ultimately the world.

We are partnering with the American Institute of History Education (AIHE) www.americaninstituteofhistory.org  to be a venue for the Amistad Comission to achieve their goal of integrating the history and contributions of African-Americans and the descendants of the African Diaspora. One of the ways students will experience the African slave trade from the other side of the sea- by taking a “live” virtual tour of the slave castles of Ghana’s Gold Coast. We hope you saw President Obama’s visit to the slave castle in Ghana. The timing couldn’t be better for opening of our cultural center.

Students will participate in round table discussions via tele-presence with students from countries and islands involved in the trans-atlantic slave trade such as Brazil, Barbados, etc. The ANCC compliments AIHE’s curriculum by bringing history to “life”.

Please, please support this program in any way you can! An please share this post and pass the message along. They are doing something very positive in our community! And if you ever get a chance stop by the center to witness this experience for yourself!
Peace family!

ANCC
191 central ave
Newark, NJ 07103
973-732-3188
www.oiadaintl.org

We were once free
Foot heavy
Petal to the metal
We burnt asphalt like sage
At a spiritual ritual
We invoked the essence of purity
Underneath our fingertips
This was our moment to jus be
Wind skipping between the locks of our hair
We felt sun rays beating against our flesh
Heat touched close to bones
Oshun was rooted in our marrow
Our engines roared to the rhythm of our pulse
Heart beating like congas as we accelerated through time
You were the only one for me
We saw things that blew mind
Bent back
Tire rubber shreds
Reconstructed to create art right before our eyes
You were the only one for me
Hands gripping your love handles
Held tightly between my warm palms
Enamored moments of adrenaline as we switch positions
Now I’m on top
Knew this would be one hell of a ride
Balanced my chakras
2 lifetimes ago
Cause I knew this day would come
Reached jnana while subdued in your clutch
Ogun stood strong to roof
Positioned fixed from one end to the other
He protected us as we stole the moon away from the night
5 finger discounts trailing across the heavens
Stuffed it inside our pockets
Bursting with child’s laughter between our teeth
it felt good to be free
Remember those days when it was jus you and me?

I be gay like
thugs rockin boy short in the middle of the west indian parade

Bending and snapping their queer into the lining of clouds 

Their proud 

to know they can walk fiercer then any models they’ve seen on television
Made the catwalk their home 
cradled it beneath their bosoms 
Dippin and spinnin to the rhythm in their hearts 
I be gay like rainbows are stitched to the back of my throat 
so when I speak,
SWITCH!
Gay like I can tell you how many licks it takes to get to the center of ya orgasm
Diving in head first,
Swimming in your juices 
Girl you been eating mangos?
I be gay like tegan and sara 
strumming along to a tree hugger tune, 
Two peace signs,
Hoop nose rings 
And turquoise beaded sandals
Gay like me 
and ya father 
are both checking out the way ya mom’s hips sway 
to swift air meet leaves on trees 
I see where you get it from
I be gay like if there was only me 
and him on earth 
I’d rather masturbate till I die 
then to fornicate with a man 
I mean have you seen her breast
damn?
Why wouldn’t I want a woman in my arms 
so delicate and small 
I be gay like rupaul in 5 inches heels
Strutting in traffic in the middle of time square,
Dodging taxis 
“Bitch you betta work!”
Gay like my existence solely depending on going down,
So I stay down 
till my job is done
Toes curled,
Nape of back arched 
Nails digging deep in back
Tongue on spin cycle,
5 speed trigger 
Your clitoris aint never felt anything like it 
I be gay like white boys with shirts as tight as under armor 
with the 90’s version ricky martin slick back. 
Gay like 2 bulldaggers going at it,
Tryna figure out whose gonna be on top 
So one jus says 
“Let’s wrestle”
I be gay like god strategically chose a select few 
to be his precious angels
So special 
that our dna can only be seen with a black light
And when you hold it up right
Its sparkles 
and glistens 
Like rainbow laced diamonds 
Pricking the inside layers of our skin
We are beautiful people 
Seeing this world on another dimension
Knowing what’s our real worth in this society 
Loving wide open 
No labels
No excuses
No exceptions
We see people for who they are 
So we love them for who they are
No matter what they are carrying between their legs
Because it is what they our carrying deep in their skin,
Their soul 
That matters most